A story for SIMPLIFYING spirituality, children and upbringing

I recently had a long chat with one of my relatives.She is very religious and spiritual- and you can know it from her phone's ringtone or from her habit of giving credit to the Divine Almighty for many blessings in her life. By now, are you thinking about the difference between beingreligiousandspiritual? :)

Even if you have not thought about it, I have - please hear me out! In my view, being religious means having faith in God based on where you are born. And being spiritual is about having faith in self - introspection for finding meaning in life. She's a mix of both.

What about you? Are you religious or spiritual or both or none? Have you given this a thought?

Now, she has a 12 year old daughter. So, our chat started with"is today's generation less religious and spiritual?"and ended with"how does it impact children and their upbringing?". I think, if you are flexible and always open to new ideas, reading this story can expand your view. And, thanks to Abhinav Arora - the child guru and Instagram sensation, children and spirituality has become a debatable topic. Damn! He has 951k followers!

But do you think she changed her perspective at the end of our conversation? Find it out...

Here's the story...

Relative:Do you think that the young guys and girls today are less religious or spiritual? And why is that?

Me:-I can't generalise. But yes - I do observe this in people around me. Not sure if it's the same everywhere. But I know someone who is an atheist and he has told me that it is because he saw his father overdo religion in his daily life and still not find happiness or financial success or peace of mind - so he somehow just lost faith in it.

Relative:That varies from person to person right? I have been in so many troubles in my life and every time I have prayed and chanted with all my heart - it has solved my problem!

Me: That's nice! But how can you be sure that the solution came from the praying? Multiple things happen and yes, somehow things do fall into place but you can't verify the exact reason behind it, right? For a person who wants to think logically, this is just blind faith. Isn't it?

Relative:Yes - but in that moment of trouble, you find peace and the energy to fight it! You find something to rely on and continue fighting!

Me: Yes, I can totally relate to this! You find peace in that moment! But I don't agree with the RELIABILITY part - Remember from school? - "God helps those who help themselves". If you want to pass an exam or fight a bully or earn more money - you need hard work to help yourself. Relying on anything without action will not help, right?

Relative:Yes and there is no debate on that! And since you mentioned about exams and bullying, I think it is important to teach kids about religion and spirituality right from a young age!

Me: Why?

Relative:It gives them mental strength! They can find their peace and reliance when they face difficulties in life....?

Me: No. It does not work that way. I'll tell you how - A mother, based on her belief, told her child that whenever you face a problem or feel nervous - pray and you shall find a way. Now there can be children who, by their own nature, are mature enough to know that praying alone cannot help them pass an exam or save them from a bully. They will have to work for it themselves. But there are also children, who don't think so deeply, and begin to pray when they don't study, or begin to pray when are being beaten, and then expect to be saved.

Relative:Err... Yeah so what? They will get it as they grow up, right?

Me: They'll get it - but not completely. It will be a broken understanding. When kids don't get immediate results from religion or spirituality, they start losing faith. It is not because religion or spirituality are useless, it is because they don't understand it completely.

Religion and spirituality as concepts are better understood when you're mature. Kids don't have that maturity - they only believe in what their parents say. So if you say "pray and you shall find a way" - kids expect it to work like magic. When they grow up and become mature, it will take them a long time to realise that religion and spirituality cannot compensate for lack of effort, hard work and purpose. They can even find themselves disconnected to the entire belief and concept of religion and spirituality. Or they can start having doubts on their parents - for not being able to point it out to them. It is up to us to tell the kids at the right time and with the right disclaimer - that for all of us, good luck, religion and spirituality has a LARGE role to play, but it cannot be called to help us at our will.

Relative:This is true! I think I need to be more careful with my daughter. And wait till she is mature enough to not misinterpret my talks on spirituality and religion. But thanks to you - I need to tell her to study diligently and learn some self-defence! Haha!

Me:Oh yes! That's the way! :D

I never usually write on topics of religion - because I know they are highly subjective. But this time when I realised that it can have a negative impact on children and their upbringing - I couldn't resist. I hope this story gave you some insight on SIMPLIFYING upbringing!